Adam's story

Adam is only eight, and his world has already been shaken by more change and uncertainty than many children will ever face in their lifetime. 

He splits his time between his mum and dad, alternating households every week. But since his recent move to a small rural town with his mum Maria, things have become even more complex. The relocation led to renewed conflict between his parents — particularly around communication breakdowns and his father’s resistance to Maria’s decision to move. Adam was there when it all boiled over. He heard the shouting. He felt the tension.   

On top of this, Maria has long faced her own challenges. She lives with anxiety, PTSD, and chronic arthritis that often leaves her in pain and unable to cope. The family has also had past involvement with Oranga Tamariki, due to concerns about the living environment. And just recently, Adam lost one of the few constants in his life — his grandfather — someone he was incredibly close to. 

So much change, so much instability, and so much grief — all resting on the shoulders of one little boy. 

That’s when Barnardos stepped in. 

Adam and Maria were connected with Kim, a Barnardos social worker, who began by offering wraparound support for the whole family — making sure Maria had access to health and income support, helping the whānau settle into their new environment, and beginning to restore a sense of structure and safety. 

In their conversations with Kim, both Adam and his mum shared that what Adam needed most was someone to talk to — someone outside the family who could help him make sense of all that was going on. Kim knew just the place. 

Because Barnardos services are integrated, working closely together, Kim could easily refer Adam to our What’s Up counselling helpline — the only service of its kind in Aotearoa where tamariki and rangatahi as young as five can access professional counselling by phone or online. 

Kim worked with Adam’s new school to organise a quiet space where he could take calls during class time — and when Adam said he’d prefer to speak to a male counsellor, What’s Up made it happen. 

From that first call, a connection began. 

At first, the conversations were gentle — getting to know each other, talking about favourite movies and activities. But as trust built and Adam felt safe, he began to share more. The grief he felt over his grandfather’s passing. The confusion and sadness about the conflict at home. The overwhelming feeling of being caught in the middle of something too big for someone so small. 

With the support of his counsellor, Adam began to learn how to recognise and name his emotions. Together, they explored simple, age-appropriate coping strategies to help him manage the big feelings and navigate the hard days. They talked about who else in his life felt safe, and how to reach out for support when things got tough. 

That one regular call each week became his safe place. 

Barnardos is unique in how we support tamariki. Through our integrated model, children like Adam don’t have to navigate a confusing system or retell their story to strangers. Whether it’s social work, early learning, or counselling support, we work together to make sure tamariki and whānau get the right help, at the right time, in the right way. 

And crucially, What’s Up offers something most other helplines don’t — repeat sessions with the same counsellor, so children can build genuine, trusting relationships. 

Adam’s journey isn’t over. But he’s no longer facing it alone. He has tools to cope. People who care. And a voice that’s growing stronger every day. 

For the first time, I feel like I’m not alone. And maybe—just maybe—that things might get better for me and my brother.